Cavemen
by I HEART JATAE
Summary: Lance and Pietro get caught in a blizzard and are forced to camp out in a cave. Slash warning, tohugh it's not who you think! Um, actually, it probably is, but... oh, well. Rated for language and hints at some nasty stuff.


CAVEMEN  
by GypsyJ  
  
*****  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Slash Warning!! Um, this is my first slash fic. Ever. Well, except that one, but that was just dialogue and I honestly didn't plan for it to be slash. I've never even thought about doing slash until this plot idea popped into my head and it ate away at my mind until I just HAD to write it down-- or rather, type it up. So here it is. Um, all characters mentioned herin are property of Marvel, KidsWB, etc. This is a quasi-sequel to my other story, "Valley Girls and Facial Hair Just Don't Mix", which is a Kurtty Evo story. Questions, comments, and requests for a sequel can be sent to gypsyj14@hotmail.com. Wanna flame? Flame to KidsWB about them not having Pyro or Psylocke on the show and not giving the Brotherhood enough screen time or character developement-- you're going to get a better response out of them than you are out of me.  
  
*****  
  
"I don't believe this," Pietro muttered, rubbing his hands along his upper arms, trying to warm himself up.  
  
"You'd better believe it," Lance muttered back. He was keeping himself busy by trying vainly to light a fire.  
  
"I hope you know this is all your fault," Pietro told him for the third time since they'd gotten there.  
  
"It's not like I made it snow," Lance said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, but you *did* make the car crash."  
  
"That's 'cuz *you* didn't put the chains on the tires the right way!"  
  
"No, it's 'cuz *you* can't drive!"  
  
"Look, could you at least acknowledge the fact that I found this cave so we could stay out of the blizzard, and I'm trying to light a fire while you're doing jack shit?" Pietro grinned.  
  
"C'mon, Lance, you know that's not true," he said, voice on the brink of laughter. "How can I do Jack Shit if he's not here?" Lance sighed. That email about "You Don't Know Jack Schitt" had been funny the first time, but Pietro wouldn't forget it and it was getting old.  
  
"Why don't you make yourself useful and see if there's any *dry* wood around here so I can actually start a fire?" Lance suggested annoyedly.  
  
"I am being useful!" Pietro said defensively. "My job is to be the comedic relief."  
  
"Then quit being annoying and start doing your job!" Lance nearly yelled, beginning to get pissed off at the whole situation. They'd been sent off by Magneto (as Mystique was now out of the picture) to try and recruit some kid named Rhane MacTaggart. A chick in the Brotherhood-- that was a laugh. Persons of the opposite sex don't seem to last too long with this group. Anyway, it had been snowing, and Pietro didn't put the tire chains on correctly. The car had swerved off the road and they'd gone to look for help just in time to get caught in a blizzard. Unable to find their way back to the car, they'd wandered aimlessly into the woods and stumbled across a cave. The opening was small enough that they had to crawl through it, but the inside was more than big enough to stand up or lie stretched out in any direction. There was also a ledge on one side, about three by four feet on top and two feet off the ground. This ledge is where Pietro was sitting, and where Lance had placed his backpack.  
  
The backpack didn't have many things that were of use to them. The two of them had been given the assignment directly after school, so it had been left in the Jeep rather than taken inside the house. It contained a chemistry book, a pack of cigarettes, an empty bag of potato chips, half of a joint, an apple core, three chocolate bars, a can of soda, four pencils, papers that had already been burned by Lance, and a lighter that was now being used to try and make a lasting fire out of a failed algebra test. There had also been a sandwich left over from lunch, but Pietro had eaten that already.  
  
"Lance?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm cold."  
  
"You want a gold star, kid?"  
  
"I'd rather have a sweater." Lance gave up the fire-lighting and walked over to sit next to him, shoving the backpack onto the floor.  
  
"You wouldn't be so cold if you had more body fat, you know."  
  
"It's not my fault I have a high metabolism!"  
  
"Yeah, and it's not my fault I'm a mutant, but I'm still prob'ly gonna get killed for it someday." There was silence then. Lance hadn't meant to say something so... dramatic, it was just the first analogy that came to mind.  
  
"You really think so?" Pietro asked, somewhat quieter now.  
  
"Statistically, I'd say probably yes, but... I dunno. I think I'm more likely to die of lung cancer than of a mutant lynching."  
  
"And who knows?" Pietro suggested brightly. "Maybe things'll change. Maybe sometime people will understand all this, and treat us... normally." Lance snorted.  
  
"Yeah, that'll happen."  
  
"I'm serious, Lance! I mean, fifty years ago african-americans were getting treated the same way we are now. Only difference is they couldn't hide it. Then Martin Luther King came along and saved everything, andNowBlacksHaveEqualRights,Andmaybesomedaymutantswillhaveequalrightstooand--"  
  
"Slow down, Pietro."  
  
"Sorry. I'm just saying, if it's happened before with other minority groups, why wouldn't it happen now for mutants?"  
  
"Because it took hundreds of years for people to realize that blacks and women and Jews are equal to the rest of us. How many years has it been for mutants? Four, five?"  
  
"Three and a half." Lance gave him a funny look. "That's when my powers emerged, and mutant activity was just barely starting to get noticed."  
  
"So we've got about, what, ninety-six years to go? Maybe there'll be equality for my kids, but not in this lifetime." Pietro looked suddenly more interested.  
  
"You wanna have kids?" he asked curiously. Lance had to think about this one. Did he? He'd never really liked kids too much, and with a temper like his he figured he'd be able to keep them for about a month before social workers came along and took them away. But now that he thought about it...  
  
"I guess so. I mean, why not, right? If I ever get married, that is."  
  
"Well, yeah... what would you name it?" Lance scratched his chin and looked up in thought.  
  
"Hmmm... I dunno. I've always liked the name Cody, but Matt's a pretty cool name, too." Pietro nodded.  
  
"I've always liked Jacob, personally. And Charlotte, ifit'sagirl."  
  
"Yeah, I once dated a chick named Charlotte. She was such a whore."  
  
"Lovely," Pitro muttered sarcastically. Lance chuckled slightly.  
  
"You know that we sound women right now?" Pietro grinned.  
  
"I won't tell if you won't."  
  
"It wouldn't matter if I told someone that *you* were acting like a girl-- you're so damn feminine all the time, it wouldn't be a big suprise."  
  
"Gee, thanks." Lance presently heard a sort of clicking noise. He looked around and realized that it was Pietro. His teeth were chattering.  
  
"Cold?" Pietro nodded. "I don't get it. If you have such a high metabolism, wouldn't you be *warmer* than me?"  
  
"You've got a sweatshirt and a down jacket. I've just got a wool coat. With holes in it." Lance narrowed his eyes suspiciously.  
  
"What're you gettin' at?" Now Pietro was all for getting his way as much as possible, but he was never one to guilt trip someone into doing something for him. Not blatantly, anyway. Lance, however, was quick to figure out what other people wanted, and his eyes widened and he shook his head. "Ohhh, no you don't. I am NOT giving you my jacket."  
  
"I n-never asked y-you to," Pietro stuttered from cold. They were silent for a few minutes then-- well, save the somewhat annoying clattering of Pietro's jaw. Eventually, Lance sighed and unzipped his jacket. Pietro had to supress a triumphant grin. He loved winning. He was quite suprised, however, when a strong arm wrapped around him and pulled him closer so they were *both* inside the jacket. Pietro gasped and stiffened slightly. Lance-- probably the most manly, heterosexual guy he knew-- had his arm around him. But if he was so heterosexual, then this didn't mean anything... right?  
  
"What?" Lance asked, almost defensively. He didn't want Pietro dying or anything. After all, he was Magneto's-- well, he hadn't yet figured out how they knew eachother, but the Boss-man treated him differently than the rest. He'd be knee deep in shit if anything happened to the white-haired boy. //Though the fact that he's cute *does* make it easier-- wait, what am I saying?! He's not cute! I am NOT thinking that he's cute! I'm not gay. I'm as straight as they come. Yup, that's me; straighter'n a ruler.//  
  
"Well, I thought you'd just... lemme freeze to death."  
  
"You really think I'm that mean?"  
  
"No, you just always act like you hate me, is all."  
  
"I don't hate you!"  
  
"I said you *act* like it."  
  
"Close enough. In case you haven't noticed, I act like that around everyone." Pietro scoffed.  
  
"You do not! Yeah, you're rude and you have one hell of a temper, but you don't act like you hate anyone *else*!"  
  
"I don't-- well, I guess I maybe... treat you kinda crappy sometimes."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"Dunno. Magneto treats you better."  
  
"He does not!" Lance cocked his eyebrow disbelievingly. "Well, maybe a little... But just 'cause you're jealous doesn't--"  
  
"I'm not jealous! I'm... indignant."  
  
"Do you even know what indignant means?" Lance frowned, afraid he'd gotten it wrong.  
  
"I think... isn't that when you're angry about something because it's not fair?"  
  
"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you knew."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Lance?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm tired."  
  
"So am I. Of your whining, that is."  
  
"No, seriously, I wanna go to sleep."  
  
"So go to sleep." Lance felt Pietro nod his head and snuggle closer to the warmth of the dark-haired boy's body. Pietro's breathing slowed, and after about twenty minutes, Lance decided that the usually hyperactive kid was actually asleep.  
  
*****  
  
There are pretty much two ways a person can wake up: one is to awaken quietly and motionless, only opening your eyes. The other is to make a lot of movement and noise-- stretching and yawning and groaning and trying to go back to sleep. Lance was a noisy waker. Pietro, being a light sleeper, was a quiet one.  
  
Pietro was awakened by something against the back of his head. It tickled, and it felt nice, but the though that it might be some sort of bug or bat or something made him say,  
  
"Huh?" He felt Lance pull away from him quickly, though his arm remained around Pietro's shoulders.  
  
"Oh, you're awake! Uh... sleep well?" He sounded a little suprised. Pietro's eyebrow arched automatically.  
  
"What were you doing?" he asked suspiciously.  
  
"I-- uh..."  
  
"You were smelling my hair, weren't you?" His voice was on the brink of laughter.  
  
"Well... it smells good," he admitted sheepishly. "What kinda shampoo you use?"  
  
"It's vanilla-scented. From the Body Shop." Lance stifled laughter.  
  
"You shop at the Body Shop?"  
  
"What, you think that's fruity? *I'm* not the one with my arm around another guy!"  
  
"You wanna freeze to death?"  
  
"No..."  
  
"Then shut the fuck up." They were silent for a few minutes before Pietro leaned up to smell Lance's hair, to the latter's suprise.  
  
"Hmmm... you smell pretty good, too. What is that? Herbal Essences?"  
  
"Uh, yeah, I think..." Pietro was starting to creep him out, no matter *how* cute he-- no! NO! NOT cute! Straight, straight, STRAIGHT! Think of women... naked women... *beautiful* naked--  
  
"Lance!"  
  
"What? Oh, sorry, I was spacing out..."  
  
"Yeah, I could tell. I asked what you wanna do."  
  
"Um... I dunno..."  
  
"Anyone ever told you that you say that a lot?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh. Well, you do. Um..." Pietro looked up in thought. "We could play a game."  
  
"Yeah, let's go make snow angels," Lance suggested sarcastically. "Can you seriously think of *one* game we could play like this?" Pietro grinned devilishly.  
  
"Truth or Dare."  
  
"Okay, one, I don't play Truth or Dare. And two, what are the dares gonna be? Go hit your head on a rock?"  
  
"Hmmm... I guess you're right. What about just truth, then?"  
  
"I don't play Truth, either."  
  
"Please? You can ask the first question." Lance thought for a minute. There was one thing he'd been meaning to ask Pietro...  
  
"Fine. First question: are you gay?"  
  
"Yes," Pietro responded without skipping a beat. Lance blinked. Well that was... easy. "Okay, my--"  
  
"So you're really gay?" Lance asked, not quite believing all this. Pietro sighed.  
  
"It's *my* turn, Lance. So... have you ever had a crush on a guy before?" Lance sighed. Well, this didn't really count, but it might as well...  
  
"Yes." Pietro's eyes grew to the size of saucers.  
  
"Really? Who?" Lance laughed.  
  
"Wait your turn, kid." Pietro pouted his lower lip.  
  
"You're no fun," he muttered.  
  
"Okay, next question... are you a virgin?" Pietro looked up at him mischeviously.  
  
"Technically," he replied. Lance raised both eyebrow's in slight interest.  
  
"And just what does that mean?" Pietro shook his finger at him.  
  
"Uh-uh-uh, Lance," he scolded lightly. "My question. Um... you're bi, aren't you?" Lance chuckled.  
  
"Why can't we ask *normal* questions?"  
  
"These *are* normal questions for a game of Truth! Now answer my question. I know you're not gay, because I see you checking out girls, so I wanna know whether or not you're bi." Lance sighed out of the corner of his mouth.  
  
"The truth?"  
  
"No, a lie. Of course the truth!" Lance sighed yet again.  
  
"I don't know." Pause.  
  
"You don't know."  
  
"Nope." Pietro wrinkled his nose.  
  
"Well, that's no fun!" he pouted.  
  
"Hm," was Lance's only response. He was thinking too hard. Pietro looked up at him thoughtfully.  
  
"You are bi, aren't you?" Lance was too deep in thought to realize that it was his turn.  
  
"I think so," he said, suprised at the revelation. Pietro studied his friend. He really was cute, and he had that whole bad-boy thing going on... Without much thought, as is the way most Pietro things are done, he put his hand on the back of Lance's neck, pulled him downwards, and kissed him.  
  
Lance froze for a moment. //Waitasec... I'm kissing a GUY! Not just any guy, but PIETRO! What the hell is going on?! I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not-- aw, fuck it.// He slipped both arms around Pietro's torso and returned the kiss, both suprised and exhilerated when the silver-haired mutant slipped his tongue into Lance's mouth.  
  
Several minutes later, Pietro was in Lance's lap, straddling his hips and trying to pull the other boy's shirt off, all the while still kissing him passionately. Lance pulled away, causing his friend (for lack of better word) to whimper.  
  
"Pietro?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm cold." Pietro frowned. He'd stopped to say that he was *cold*? What was the point of that?  
  
"WellWhatDoYouWantMetodoaboutit?!" he asked angrily.  
  
Lance didn't respond verbally. He just grinned wolfishly and unzipped Pietro's fly.  
  
*****  
  
"Lance?"  
  
"Mmmm..."  
  
"Lance, wake up!"  
  
"Hunh...?" Lance opened his eyes to see an extremely... *naked* Pietro on top of him, looking impatient. //How typical of him... well, except for the naked part.// "What is it?"  
  
"The blizzard stopped." Lance looked over at the cave entrance too see that it had, in fact, stopped snowing. Not only that, but the sun was shining and it was quite a bit warmer.  
  
"Well, wouldja lookit that..." Lance said, grinning. He was about to say something when Pietro (almost) interrupted him.  
  
"Lance, IGottaAskYouSomething..."  
  
"So ask."  
  
"Was that just a sex thing, or do you... *like* me, like me?" Lance grinned again. He just had no idea how unbelievably *cute* he was. Lance pulled Pietro down and kissed him deeply, though it lasted only a few seconds before he pulled away in order to speak.  
  
"Does that answer your question?"  
  
"No." Lance laughed. Yes, so unbelievably cute...  
  
"Yes, I *like* you, like you." This seemed to make Pietro very happy, and he threw his arms around Lance's neck, kissing him cheerfully on the cheek.  
  
"C'mon, loverboy. We gotta put some clothes on and get outta here before people start worrying." Pietro rolled off, sitting up to retrieve his clothing.  
  
"No one'll worry about us," Lance said sitting up and grabbing Pietro from behind. "It's just you and me now."  
  
"Oh," he replied, mildy distracted as Lance chewed softly on his ear. "Well, in that case..."  
  
THE END 


End file.
